Who makes the decisions?

 How important is it for you to make decisions in a relationship? Who would you say typically makes the decision in relationships? Is it typically the male or the female that makes the decision? Most people would say that it’s the males that want to make the decisions, but if you ask them, the guys usually don’t want to make the decisions! Why is that? Well, from what I can tell you as a guy, I don’t want the responsibility of always making the decisions. I feel like it completely absolves the responsibility from the women to make decisions. What this does in a relationship is it puts total blame on the men for all of the good, and all of the bad that happens. Personally, I find that this creates a huge chasm between couples that can only be seen in the long run. In the moment, it doesn’t seem like the choice to be the only one to make decisions would have any major consequences. However, over long periods of time, the choices add up. So when is the best time to start making choices as a couple? 

It all comes back to dating. It has made me think more about my dating experience. I have no problem with making decisions when it comes to dating. Where to eat, what to do, and when to do these things aren’t huge choices, but it’s the foundation of what our relationship will look like further down the road. It also begs another two questions for me: at what point are these things expectations, and at what point does that change? For me, I believe that at the pint that you want to be exclusive, that’s when the point should be brought up to make decisions together. That’s where it would give you a good idea of how well you work together as a team in the real sense, not just in games or escape rooms. I really find it refreshing when a girl that I’m interested in tells me that she wants to plan and pay for a date. It’s like a breath of fresh air, and I know that she is just as much invested in the relationship as I am. Sometimes I have gone away from dates feeling like I have just put in so much effort into a relationship where it has not been reciprocated. And, I don’t mean financially or physically. I simply mean effort-wise. So, when are the times when decisions are typically made by females? 

Oh my word, PRINCESS DAY!!!! I hate that name for it. It’s like a girl’s wedding day is the only monumental moment that she lives for. I recognize the ignorance in that statement, but how far from the truth is it really? That is the one day she does NOT want messed up. So, why should she leave any of the decision-making to the man? The wedding planning is something that I believe both people should be involved in if they want their relationship to be strong. Just imagine how much more that day would mean to the man if he even got to have some small part in making “her princess day” special. He would feel valued in that relationship, even more than he already feels. It would become THEIR special day that they both put effort and love into. 

As I have had discussions about decision making with friends and family, I recognize even more the importance of both individuals in a relationship to be unified. I get so excited about the thought of the potential of a marriage and how successful and powerful it could be to be totally unified. It’s something that I desire very strongly. I look forward to the day when I get to practice what I’ve learned and experience the unity that I hope to achieve.